I'm lost and stupid without you.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
