There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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