This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize