My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
