Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize
