She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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