u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
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