his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Randomize