she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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