Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
