it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Randomize
