I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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