Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
