i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Randomize
