did you get engaged???
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
