so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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