I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
