Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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