I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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