let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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