Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
