hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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