just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Randomize
