I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Randomize
