she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
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