Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Your mouth is God's brothel.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
