I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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