ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
