If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize