I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
