you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Randomize