i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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