And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i will never coherently bang her
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
