Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
