I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
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