oh god the rape fog is back!
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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