in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
How external is "for external use only"?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
