I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize