How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
