come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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