I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
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