forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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