I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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