goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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