Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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