So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Still dying that you shit outside
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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