Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Randomize
