mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
