i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
is that a dick in a sweater?
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
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