And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
