I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
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