I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
