Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
This house was built for laser tag.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Dicks are not precious.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
