before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
