windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
The air was thick with penises
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
