I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
