i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
