my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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