Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
