Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
