I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
worst night to have a conscience
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
