Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Randomize