I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize
