a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
