I'm laying in your front yard are you home
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
