did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Randomize
