please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
