Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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