Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
