try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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